Tobi's Toilet Trouble
by cyberspyderweb
Summary: Oh no Tobi has to go to the bathroom but someone is in there what is he going to do! Find out what happenends to poor Tobi! Of couse trouble will happen. : Warning swearing. Hidan's involved that's why.


Disclaimer I don't own Mountain Dew or Tobi. But he's so cute I really wish I did!!!!!!!!!!:)

**WARNING:**This is what I get from Red Bull that kept me wake until 2 am in the morning!

**Tobi's Toilet Trouble!**

Tobi woke up in his room. He rubbed his eyes and got up to open his curtains. The sun was bright and birds were chirping happily. Until there was a large bang. The vibration was so strong he could feel the earth move under his feet.

Tobi: Senpai"s awake!

He got dressed and put on his all famous mask and ran to the bathroom to have his morning pee. He ran so fast that he almost crashed right into Kisame. Kisame pushed him into a wall.

Kisame: Watch where your going Tobi!

Tobi: Sorry Kisame I need to go to the bathroom!

Tobi ran down the hall and right in to the bathroom door. Well because it was closed. Oh no someone was in there he thought. So he banged on the door loudly.

Tobi: Tobi has to go pee! Hurry up in there!

Hidan: Fuck off Pumpkin head. Can't a fucking Priest take a funking shit without any bastards Heathens harassing him? Seriously!

Tobi: But I really have to go!

Hidan: Go use the one downstairs shit brains!

Tobi: Good idea Hidan!

Tobi ran downstairs and almost crashed into Kisame once more. This time Kisame grabbed Tobi by the front of his shirt and through him over the couch.

Kisame : What the hell is wrong with you Tobi! Watch where your going!

Tobi: Tobi has to go pee! Hidan's in the bathroom and won't hurry!

Tobi took off running leaving Kisame confused.

Kisame: That's it no more Kool-aid and cheesy poofs after 9 pm for him.

Tobi ran right into the other bathroom door. He fell backwards and landed on his ass. He quickly stood up and started to bang on the door.

Tobi: Tobi really has to go pee! Let me in!

Kakuzu: This is occupied. Try the one upstairs!

Tobi: But Hidan is in there! He won't hurrrrrryyy!

Kakuzu: He was in there before I got here so he should be done first! Go upstairs and see if he's done! Little Hershey squirt!

Tobi: Okay thank you Kakuzu!

Once more he was rushing back upstairs when he crashed right into Sassori causing him to land on his ass and Sassori and all his puppetity pieces to go flying all over the place. Tobi got up and headed for the upstairs once more yelling behind him.

Tobi: Sorry Sassori But Tobi has to go peeeee!

Sassori:Huh? You really need to lay of the soft drinks with caffeine in them Tobi. I think the chemicals are getting to your brain!

Sassori pulled himself together literally. Once together once more he headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of Starbucks coffee. Even though he didn't drink it because he was a puppet he just like to fake it so he fit in with the boys. Tobi back upstairs. Hidan was still in there but Tobi banged on the door once more.

Tobi: Hurrryyy! Tobi still has to go peeeeeeeee!

Hidan: I'm not done you fucking piss fairy! You know I have to fucking concentrate when I take a shit! Immortals get fucking constipated easily. You really want to help me get me some coffee you fucking crazy cyclopes pumpkin head!

Tobi: Then Tobi can go pee?

Hidan: The faster you get it the more chance of you taking a piss in the next 20 minutes! Make sure that Stitches didn't fall asleep on the shitter again also. Last time he did that he was in there for 8 hours! And he didn't even courtesy flush the whole upstairs fucking smelled for 3 days!

Tobi: Alright Tobi will go get you some coffee and check if Kakuzu is done yet!!

Tobi ran downstairs and and ran to see if Kakuzu was done yet he banged on the door.

Kakuzu: Let me shit in peace unless you want to fight me over this later!

Tobi:Are you done yet I have to go peeeee!

Kakuzu: No I'm not otherwise I wouldn't be in here!

Tobi: Are you close to being done yet?

Kakuzu: No! Go upstairs!

Tobi: Okay!

But he did manage to remember that in order to get Hidan off the toilet he needed to bring him coffee. So he ran in to the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the cupboard. He went to the coffee maker and found that there was no more left. He looked at the table and saw who took it all. There was Deidara senpai sitting at the table drinking from his huge 7-11 truly over sized mug. Like honestly who can drink that much coffee at once? Tobi looked worried and did some kinda funky I have to go pee dance which looked more like a Micheal Jackson having a seizure.

Deidara: Tobi what are you doing, un? You look like your having another Micheal Jackson seizure! Did you drink that Red Bull stuff again?

Tobi: No senpai! Tobi has to go peeeee!

Deidara: Then go to he bathroom,un?

Tobi: But Kakuzu and Hidan crapping are in both of them! But Hidan said if I got him so coffee he'd be done faster! Now there's no more coffee! What should Tobi do?

Deidara: First stop dancing around like that you look retarded. So he need something like coffee huh? Hey maybe he just needs caffeine, un?! I've got it Tobi in the left cupboard there is a two liter of Mountain Dew Energy! Tell him to down the whole bottle then he'll have no problem!

Tobi nodded and grabbed the bottle of the energy caffeinated soft drink and ran upstairs. He quickly banged on the door.

Tobi: Hidan Kakuzu is still in there and alive and there was no more coffee but I found a drink that Deidara said would help you go faster just like coffee!

Hidan opened the door a crack and grabbed the bottle from him. He looked at the label it did have caffeine in it.

Hidan: Are you fucking sure! Seriously. He said this would help?

Tobi: Deidara said it would help but you have to drink the who bottle at once really fast!

Hidan: I'll fucking give this shit a shot then.

Hidan downed the whole bottle and Tobi stood out the door and did his whole MJ seizure dance having to go so bad now he added dance steps from Thriller you know the whole werewolf thing! Hidan was done and threw the bottle on the ground and let out a huge burp.

Hidan: This taste like fucking dog shit and sugar! It better god damn well start to fucking work soon!

Tobi :Are you done yet?!

Hidan : Give me a minute I think I can feel it start to work.

Hidan did feel it start to work as his stomach rumbled and gurgled. He let out a couple of good farts and burps the drink was working well and fast. A couple of minutes went by and then it sounded like something exploded form inside!

Hidan: Ah what the HELL DID YOU GIVE ME?!?!

There were horrible sounds of explosive diarrhea, farting and loud moaning coming from within the bathroom!

Hidan: OH Holy Jashin what have I done to deserve this? Ahhhh Tobi...aaahhhhh. Your so dead...EEErrrrr.. when I get out of here!!!! Iff...uuuhhh..I live!

Tobi didn't know what to do and ran around in a circle holding his head.

Tobi: Tobi's sorry but Deidara told me to give it to you! I have to go peeeee! Are you done yet?

Hidan: N-n-noooo! AAhhhhhh! My asshole is fucking ...uuuhhh...being fucking ripped apart ...eeeerrrrrr...from the fucking inside!!!!

For a couple of minutes Tobi heard more explosive sounds and very painful grunts but his pee problem wasn't going away so he ran downstairs to see if Kakuzu was done yet. He crashed right into Sassori again but this time Sassori was more prepared and grabbed Tobi by the front of his shirt and as he swung him around kicked him in the back which sent him flying face first in to the wall! Sassori smiled and went to go back upstairs to his room to work on more puppetity things! (I love that word puppetity, But I'm not sure if it's really a word but I love it!) Tobi's face slid down the wall and when his whole body was on the ground he got up like nothing happened and ran to the other bathroom. He banged on the door.

Tobi: Hurry up Kakuzu I need to go peeee! And Hidan might be dying on the other Toilet!

Kakuzu: I'm out already.

Tobi looked behind him and saw Kakuzu looking down at him. Tobi tried the handle but it was locked and Tobi looked up at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu: Itachi is in there now so I wouldn't knock on the door if I was you.

Tobi knew he shouldn't knock or he might end up in one of Itachi's strange torture worlds. He started to MJ dance again and Kakuzu instantly stopped him with his threads.

Kakuzu: I'll kill you if I ever, ever catch you doing that ever, ever again!! Go outside if you can't hold it any longer!

Tobi: Outside?

Kakuzu: Yah pretend your on a mission or something!

Tobi smiled under his mask and ran to the back door. Once he got outside he found a good spot to pee but as he was pulling himself out.

Deidara: Tobi what are you doing?

Tobi:Kakuzu said I can pee outside if i can't hold it any longer. Like on a mission.

Deidara looked confused and then smiled evilly.

Deidara: Look you just can't pee anywhere you want too. How about I make you your own toilet so you can be more comfortable! I did help Hidan with his constipation problem, un?

Tobi: I...I guess you did. But he might be dying on the toilet!

Deidara: Immortals don't die stupid ,un? He'll be fine! Do you want my help or what? Zetsu will kill you if you piss on his plant or grass you know, un?

Tobi: Oh no your right senpai! What will Tobi do?

He started to MJ dance once more but danced over to the window looking in the kitchen to make sure Kakuzu couldn't see him so he wouldn't be killed. He added the thriller part again and then he realized that Kisame was watching him from the kitchen table wide eyed and stuck in middle drink from his Pepsi can. Tobi waved. Kisame slowly raised his hand and waved back at him. Tobi danced for a minute waving then he danced away from the window. Sassori walked into the kitchen. Kisame shook his head.

Kisame: Oh man does that kid have major issues.

Sassori: I may have issues Kisame but what puppet these days doesn't?!?!

Sassori ran back upstairs crying.

Kisame: Yup another day another drama. I should have stayed with the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist. But nnnoooo! I listened to Zabuza Momochi and look where it got me. Oh well at least I'm alive.

Deidara finished his toilet and called Tobi over.

Deidara: There you go Tobi all done , un? This is true art at it's finest! I'll leave you to do your thing. I'll be inside un?

Tobi: Thank you! Thank you Deidara! Tobi loves you!

Tobi gave him a big hug! But Deidara pushed him away and headed inside. Tobi pulled himself out and went pee. AAAAHHHHHH he sighed. It was the best feeling he ever felt. Finally relief over came him and he was done. He zipped up his zipper and whistled as he headed in to the house. Deidara was watching from inside why hadn't his plan worked? Tobi entered the house and went to the kitchen to get his favorite cereal. Nothing says bad ass like the gum shredding cereal Cap'n Crunch! Deidara looked at him confused until Tobi poured his milk and a sudden blast made Tobi drop the milk on the floor instead of his bowl. Tobi ran to the window and Deidara was laughing holding his sides. Tobi looked out and saw a very angry black burnt Zetsu and bits of toilet everywhere.

Tobi: Hi Zetsu! Why did you make Tobi's toilet explode?

Zetsu came running towards the house and Deidara took off. Zetsu ran inside and looked for artist. Tobi sat and ate his cereal.

The End!!!

Hidan ended up dying on the toilet but after 6 hours he came back to life to endure more pain from the Mountain Dew energy drink.

**Warning** to all don't down the drink! My friend learned the hard way! Last year! He didn't die on the toilet but had the runs from it. serves him right for trying to show off! lol Oh by the way I couldn't remember if it was Mountain Dew but in this story it is. :)


End file.
